Why conform or nonconform?
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About me;
As a child up to the age of 5years had a wonderful caring experiential world.Went to school where I was striped of my self-worth, due to minor social differences, tried my best to conform , fit in, .....nothing made sense.
The assumption was made, that if you could not read by the age of 7years, then the school forced us each morning to read a passage of a book to our class (literacy was & still is a big deal in schools, hence my dyslexia), did you have a similar experience?
The outcome of having to endure 12 to 13 years of school, was to find myself having knowledge & fear of the social rules (& Taboos), while being very lacking in self-esteem.
I was illiterate & exhibiting some dyslexia, also poorly developed sport & social communicating skills. With this in mind felt that every one else knew what was going on? Except for me!!!!
At the age of 26years managed to get a BSc from N.S.W. Uni., in industrial / medical microbiology (even though I was not literate after leaving school).
After leaving Uni., created & owned a successful plant nursery business in Newcastle for 14 years.
Took up skydiving in my mid 30s and other sports like wind surfing, weight training and managed to travel over to the U.S. on approximately 10 occasions to do both holiday travel and the occasional emotional workshop.
After the death of my partner in 1990, decided being workaholic (work-a-holic) was a dead end road. Had a deep (profound) experience while grieving my partner, which gave me a glimpse of emotional freedom (a glimpse of what emotional contentment feels like). Decided to moved to the North coast of NSW in 1991.
Have been exploring what I feel is; self-worth, adventure & my concept of freedom, to this day?
Finally I realized what is & the value of "self acceptance", this is where my life started to make sense, rather than wanting others to accept me? I learned how to accept myself (feel ok about being me), hence raise my self esteem.
Taught my self to swim (free style etc.,) at the age of 48 years.
Now 57years, my life is very uncomplicated, love a game of tennis once or twice a week, do regular yoga practise, enjoy breeding flowering plants from seed like Bromeliads, Hippeastrums, etc.,. Have more supportive, well evolved relationships than at any other part of my life.
When I stoped minding what other people thought of me in many areas of my life, found that being socially acceptable was more about not trying to be acceptable.
The ultimate experience I would like to have? Is the contentment & happiness that comes when I have no expectations & no fears.
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